Once upon a time in a small settlement east of
the Mississippi (in Yugoslavia to be exact),
there lived a group of wild toilet paper rolls.
They roamed the forests of Yugoslavia in search
of the sacred cheese. This was how the many
toilet rolls that had come before them lived for
millions of years. One of the wild toilet paper
rolls longed for a better life. He had heard from
passing soap bars of a mysterious land beyond the
edge of the forest. No wild toiled rolls had ever
ventured forth beyond the hedges that surrounded
their peaceful forest in Yugoslavia. Oscar, the
little restless toilet paper roll, wanted to find
out about this mystical land. One day he closed
down the small dentistry shop on wheels that had
for so long been his only love in life.
Determined the start anew in this new land, he
packed what few belongings he had and headed for
the land beyond the forest. He traveled for many
nights and even more days before he came across a
young cow. Oscar had never seen a cow and he was
frightened and so he ran away. Once he stopped
running (or rolling to be exact, since toilet
paper rolls not runs) he found himself in a large
village. He had never seen a village that was not
on wheels and so he was intrigued. One of the
locals, an astrophysicist, stopped to look at the
rolling Oscar. Oscar inquired to the
astrophysicist as to what this village was and
how he could become part of it. Oscar soon
realized that the only way to become part of the
village was to become the town marine biologist.
So Oscar settled in to his new home, put out the
Open for Business sign and went to work. All was
good. Many years past and Oscar found himself in
a miserable condition. He was living a lie. He
was not meant for the life of a marine biologist.
Instead, he resolved to resume fighting plaque as
a dentist once again.
The Author of this story wishes in no way to
condone the reckless abandonment of ones home and
loved ones. The events depicted in this story
never occurred in Yugoslavia (elsewhere maybe).
They were isolated incidents and not everyone is
so lucky. Thank you...
Evan Malahy currently is pursuing
"top-dog" in the Internet Junk
Industry. He is also an online junkie. Evan
Malahy resides at http://www.offpipe.com/ervan/
where he has lavish living arrangements.
Watch your step...
